Taking an inventory of our lives can help us stay aligned with the goals and aspirations that we have for ourselves. To do this, here are 5 questions I ask myself often.
Answering these questions can provide valuable insight into whether your current trajectory is leading you towards a path you are happy with, or if something needs to shift in order for you to reach your desired destination. Through self-reflection, you can discover where new opportunities lie and which areas require more focus and effort in order for you to make progress towards your objectives.
1. If I keep the same habits I have now – in 5 years will my life be better or worse?
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” -Will Durant, The Story of Philosophy
Habits compound over time and are a powerful force in determining the direction of our lives – both positively and negatively.
- Am I making decisions that make my present worthwhile and meaningful?
- Am I investing in my future sense of fulfillment?
- Or am I digging a hole I will have to climb out of?
2. Who brings out the best in me? Can I spend more time with them?
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn
The people in your life determine the depth and calibre of the conversations you participate in, the ideas you test, and the feedback you receive.
- Am I energized after spending time in this person’s company? Am I depleted?
- How can I craft my life to increase the frequency of our interactions?
3. Are my actions aligned with what I want in life, or just what others expect of me?
Alice: “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
The Cheshire Cat: “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
Alice: “I don’t much care where.”
The Cheshire Cat: “Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.” -Lewis Carroll
Family, faith communities, cultural norms. You can see clearly it would be absurd of you to tell someone else how to live, so why would you let anyone do that to you?
- Am I pursuing the vision of my life that brings me joy?
- Am I spending time on what I say I value?
- Am I in any way modifying who I am in the way I show up in this context?
- Am I agreeing with people out of a sense of duty or keeping the peace?
- Are the words I express the way I truly feel?
4. Which areas of my life would benefit the most from setting stronger boundaries?
“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” -Brene Brown
One of the healthiest things you can do is set strong boundaries. Boundaries are essential for protecting your mental, emotional, and physical health. They help you to control what you can control and let go of what you can’t. If you don’t know where to start, look to the areas of your life that feel most out of control. These are likely the areas where you need to set the strongest boundaries.
- What areas of my life feel out of control?
- Am I clear about what I want and need?
- Have I communicated my boundaries to others?
- Am I honoring myself by enforcing those boundaries? Conversely, am I dishonoring myself by being permissive?
5. What am I willing to sacrifice in order to reach my goals?
“Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness.” – Napoleon Hill
You are capable of doing anything, but you cannot do everything. Instead of thinking about more goals to add, consider what you must give up in order to achieve the ones you already have.
- Are there areas of my life that I need to let go in order to make space for what I really want?
- Am I willing to take risks and step out of my comfort zone in order to achieve my goals?
- What can I do today that will bring me closer to my goal?